My Quest

A few years ago someone advised me to take some time to reflect at the end of the year to see how far I have progressed or if I progressed at all, and if I was in the same position at the end of the year that I was in at the beginning of the year- it may be safe to say that I did not make any progress throughout the year. 

As 2017 came to an end, I felt a sense of peace over me, I was content, I was happy, I was really in a good place, and looking back over the year of 2017, I AM SO THANKFUL THAT I DO NOT LOOK WHAT WHAT I BEEN THROUGH. I took some time to reflect over my year from beginning to end (I make it a habit and strongly suggest that one take some time to reflect throughout the year to see how far you have come)

Anywho, when I started the year 2017, I was happy but I don’t recall having peace. 

I recall, preparing myself to go back to school to complete the second trimester.

 I recall one day in January in my room crying, hyperventilating, mad, and wanting to seek revenge.

 I recall finally making up my mind that I would maintain peace and if it cost me my peace it was too expensive.

My quest for maintaining peace started as an alternative so I would not curse out anyone or threatened anyone – I WAS FED UP- I was over my graduate school experience and I honestly wanted to quit! 

But quitting was not an option- so I had to become strategic and develop a plan that would not include cursing or threatening anyone. Maintaining peace were two words that saved and freed me.

Those words saved me from self-destruction and criticism; they freed me by allowing me to control the things and people I allowed into my space. 

As I gave myself permission to be free and live free, I was able to allow my graduate school experience to build me instead of breaking me.

My quest for maintaining peace started as me desperately needing an alternative to an experience that I was not fond of and that was quite uncomfortable, yet it is that same quest that sustained me, transformed me, and renewed me.

As I reflected on the year 2017, I realized my quest for maintaining peace was so much bigger than that, it was a part of my life’s purpose- to share peace, maintain peace and give peace in places of chaos. Now, I am not saying that I am always peaceful – I am a work in progress- I am human.

I AM SAYING THAT:

I now understand what it means to have peace that surpasses all understanding

I know what it feels like when the world is crashing around you and you’re still smiling and standing tall and bold

I know what it feels like to be confident in who I am and not to worry about others thinking that I am too aggressive or dominate

I know what it feels like to just be free, living life to the fullest with no regrets

I know and now understand the power of forgiving others and most importantly myself

I know the power of my silence and presence 

I know that I don’t want to live my life at odds (with myself, friends, family, or ANYONE)

I wanted to live a life that was fulfilling, free of revenge and anger 

I wanted to live a life of maintaining peace- MAINTAINING PEACE FOR ME.

So as I took the time to reflect- I realized that the quest for peace was bigger than me-it was to walking this Earth free.

And free indeed! 

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. - James 1:19-20

Stay Free, Stay Fulfilled, and Stay Crowned Kings and Queens