Finding Your Voice in a World of Expectations

What do you do if you are not operating from a place of competition and comparison, but find yourself in a position where code-switching is projected onto you?

As a former Historically Black College and University (HBCU) Queen, Miss Paul Quinn College 2012-2013, I experienced this firsthand. Invited to represent our school at an organization, I submitted a speech, which was revised by the powers that be. At the podium, with both my version and the revised speech in hand, I faced a dilemma. Ultimately, I delivered a blend of both: my authentic version intertwined with the necessary points from the revised version. This approach allowed me to stay true to my voice while meeting the audience's needs. After the event, I received positive feedback, and one of the leaders even visited our school for a tour led by me, the current reigning queen. Sometimes, people’s intentions are pure, shaped by their own experiences and expectations. I later discussed this with a trusted confidant, who noted that this individual often exhibited such tendencies in programming.

Places need your authentic voice and story; it's our collective voices and experiences that help create meaningful and intentional change. We are creatures of habit, and while habits aren’t inherently bad, people often get so entrenched in their ways that they overlook other perspectives. This is why I advocate for removing the mask of others' expectations, the mask of "this is the way we've always done it," and the mask of mere agreeableness. Ask questions and add your voice and value to the conversation. In the end, I think if we had had more time to practice together, the pressure would not have seemed so intense. I am glad that we were able to compromise the content without compromising my character (voice and dialect).

Crown Jewels for Staying Authentic:

CROWN JEWELS (as it relates to action steps): Crown Jewels refer to the most valuable and essential pieces of advice or steps that can guide you towards achieving your goals. Just as crown jewels are the most precious treasures in a royal collection, these action steps are the most critical and impactful strategies you can implement to ensure success and authenticity in your journey.

1. Infuse Your Authenticity with Expectations: Look for opportunities to infuse your authentic self into the and the expectations placed upon you. Integrate your voice with the necessary points from external feedback.

2. Advocate for Your Voice: Be confident in the value of your experiences and perspectives. Ask questions and contribute meaningfully to conversations, even if it means challenging the status quo.( I didn’t ask enough questions)

3. Seek Support, Feedback, and Understanding: Discuss your challenges with trusted confidants who can offer perspective and support. Their insights can help you navigate pressures to conform while maintaining your authenticity.